Hopeless
by captianatomic
Summary: Catherine was trained to be an army nurse and help people. She wasn't trained to fall head over heels for a man who barely looks at her. She wasn't trained to deal with Howard Stark or the SSR and she definitely wasn't trained for all the curve balls life keeps throwing her way. She's just a young woman trying to make a place in the middle of war.
1. Chapter 1

_So, this story is based on the movies, but I kind of put a slight changes in it so that story makes more sense. I don't know, it makes more sense if you read it (lol). It's not super crazy different or anything, just slight details that help the story come together. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!_

 **The Start of Something Dangerous**

 **Chapter 1**

"This is hospital buildings," Peggy said as she stopped inside the white brick building. Red lip stick painted the woman's lips in a courageous way and partially reminded Catherine of the Army Nurse Corps poster that used to hang in the diner she worked at.

Her accent was British and she sauntered around like there was nothing to ever apologize for. She was proud. Catherine could learn a thing or two.

She tried not to fiddle with her winter uniform. It was the first time she had worn the formal wear and it somewhat itched her. She pulled down on the bottom of the wool, olive drab jacket. It was uncomfortable, but she admitted it fit her figure well. Her brunette hair was in neat twists neatly at the nape of her neck and her face was nearly free of makeup. So, it wasn't hard to tell the young woman hadn't had a good night's sleep in quite a while.

Peggy motioned for Catherine to enter first. Having a building to work in rather than an array of tents connected together was definitely something new, but she wasn't about to complain. The building was chilly, but nothing compared to the freezing outside temperatures. She could get used to this.

She was immediately greeted by a younger looking woman, who grasped her hand with a quick shake and whisked her away. "I guess someone can show the barracks later," Peggy called after the retreating woman.

"Thank goodness you are here," the woman said as she ushered Catherine into a empty room handed off a nurses uniform. "We have been understaffed immensely. Hurry and get changed." The woman left Catherine standing there, a bit taken back.

She obliged and stripped from her service wear. _Duty calls_ , she thought to herself as she pulled on the working uniform and hurried out of the room.

"Everything is going to be alright," she murmured to the moaning man as she lifted up his shirt. Finding a spot on his stomach that had enough fat, she grabbed the morphine tube off of the tray and uncapped it. She pinched together the skin surrounding the area and then pushed the needle into him.

The soldier would be out within a few good minutes. The morphine, mixed with his exhaustion would knock him out, and hopefully give her enough time to work on him. She pinned the syrette to man's shirt, so that others would not offer him anymore of the drug, and hurried off to gather some bandages and ointment.

There were severe burns running along the man's face and down his neck. Caught in a blast, apparently. Catherine had seen worse, but if he wasn't bandaged up, it wouldn't heal properly.

By the time Catherine was told to end her shift she was exhausted. With less nurses working in the building, more things had to be done. She exited the building with her formal uniform neatly folded and in her arms. Sleep was the only thing on her mind, but for that to happen, she first had to know where exactly her bunk was.

Catherine let out a deep sigh and thought back to the building she was in, when she first arrived. She trudged in the direction she believed she came from. Someone there could show her the way. She considered asking another nurse, but didn't want to be bother. Everyone inside seemed busy.

Eventually, Catherine came upon buildings which she assumed were barracks. She stopped, pursed her lips and glanced around the area for someone to speak to. A few men sat around a few logs and were dealing out cards, maybe they could help.

How naive of her to think that.

"Excuse me," she called out as she neared the men. The group paused and glanced up at her.

"What can we do for you darling," one of them drawled out. His tone was dripping with something that sort of made her uncomfortable.

"I seem to have, um-" she paused noticing the glazed over look in his eyes and distraction as he stared straight at her. "Could you point in the direction of the nurse-"

"You know," another one of them started. "I think I skipped my checkup the other day." A chorus of agreements and 'me too' rang out.

"Well," Catherine said swallowing thickly. "You should take care of that as soon as you can. I think I remember the way, thank you though." She turned on her foot and began to hurry in the direction she came.

"Where are you going, sweetheart?" A voice called after her. "Maybe you can give me a check up? See if everything is in working order." The group hooted after her and then broke into a fit of laughter.

Catherine huffed, her arms trembling and continued on with her head held high.

"Hey," the voice said, rougher. "I said, where are you going?"

Seconds later a hand caught her elbow. "Excuse me?" Catherine jumped in surprise and then jerked her arm out of their grasp. Her uniform fell into the dirt and she hurriedly turned to face the man and took a few steps back in fear.

"Easy there," the voice was polite, calm, British.

He wasn't in the standard soldier uniform, Catherine made note. She also made note of his bright blue eyes, that seemed to contrast with the dull browns he was wearing. Opening her mouth to say something no words came out, but a slight gasp.

"Oh-" she said somewhat in shock. "I- I'm-"

"Are you alright," he asked, as she choked out the 'sorry' at the same time.

 _Good Lord_ , Catherine thought to herself as he knelt down and began to gather her service uniform from the dirt.

"It's quite alright," he offered standing upright.

Catherine grabbed the uniform from him with shaky hands, still at a lost for words. "I- uh," she breathed out. "Thanks."

"Were-" he paused and glanced at the group of men who returned to their card game, no longer interested. "Were you looking for someone?" he creased his eyebrows together.

"Oh," her eyebrows shot up. "No, no I wasn't looking for anyone. I'm actually-" she began to look a bit embarrassed. "I am a little lost."

"Well, I am sure I could help you."

"That would be great," Catherine said as he led her away from the tents.

"You must be new here," he began as they left the camp area behind them. He walked with his shoulders pulled back, back straight, little to no slouching. It was as if had been trained all his life to walk upright. He didn't offer any real emotion or smile, not even a real frown.

"What gave it away?" she asked offering a sheepish smile.

"I've never seen a nurse come within five meters of the soldier's area," he said looking over at her with peculiarity. "I would consider yourself lucky miss-" he paused hoping that she would offer a name.

"Catherine," she finished for him.

"Catherine," he repeated. His accent made it sound ten times better. "Most of the men on this base don't see a woman until they're knocked over with pain. Not counting Agent Carter of course, but she usually is the one inflicting pain."

"Of course," Catherine agreed. "I guess I am lucky then."

The man silently nodded and offered no more.

"This is it," he said stopping in front of the couple of buildings that were identical to the other side of camp.

"Thank you," Catherine said turning to him. "Um-"

"Falsworth," he said looking down at her with no real expression.

"Thank you, Falsworth."

It had to be his last name, but nonetheless it fit.

"Don't mention it," he said nodding. "If I were you, I would be more cautious next time."

"Of course," she said offering a smile that wasn't returned.

* * *

It was a good three weeks until Catherine saw the 'Falsworth' again. She was well adjusted to the base, and did not hesitate when it came to her responsibilities. However, it seemed that she had fallen into her old dreamer ways. He refused to leave her mind, to leave her be, and it troubled Catherine to wits end.

"Sign for the new shipment supplies," the chief nurse ordered as she whisked through the place. Catherine nodded and set down the sheet she was trying to fix on one of the beds. She ran a hand to smooth over the skirt of her uniform and went to the front of the building to meet the deliverer.

She offered him a kind smile as she grabbed the clipboard and pen from his hands. A chill ran down her neck and she shivered. The lasting effects of winter had already settled in at the base. Snow and ice covered the ground. She scribbled messily on the signature line and handed the clipboard back to the man.

"Where do you want everything?" He asked tucking the clipboard under his arm.

"Just set them through the door and to the side, for now." she said motioning towards the building with her head. He nodded and began to do so.

Catherine stepped out of the man's way and took in a deep breath. Although cold, the winter's air was somewhat refreshing. She pulled out a cigarette from her pocket and stuck it between her lips. Smoking had become a real nerve calmer for her while she was on duty. Catherine would never call it a habit, but more of a routine to have at least one a day. She lit the end of it.

Her eyes scanned the places in front of her, until they found something that peaked her interest. There he was, leaning against a few stacked crates of rations. A few nurses were chatting him and his friend up and he didn't seem to mind. Catherine grabbed the cigarette from her mouth and blew out the smoke. His face was dusty, his blue eyes seemed dull, and he looked overall tired, but a kind smile was on his lips. He was wearing the same clothes, but they were dirtier. She watched in curiosity as his friend turned around as if sensing her gaze on them.

Their eyes met and Catherine's face went flush. She rid herself of the cigarette and blew out the last of the smoke caught in her lungs. He smirked and nodded in her direction.

 _Look away!_ She chastised herself for continuing to stare, but it was like she was frozen.

"All done," the delivery man said exiting the hospital building. Catherine was thankful for him. She smiled and thanked him for the delivery and then hurried back inside of the building, her face beet red.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hope everyone has a great holidays! Thanks to everyone who has favorite or or followed this story._

 **Nights Out**

 **Chapter 2**

* * *

The bags forming underneath Catherine's eyes were prominent, and despite her desperate attempts, the very small amount of makeup she was allowed to wear barely covered that. Her sleep seemed like the least important thing at the moment. Especially, with wounded soldiers being transported in. However, she had to admit it wasn't anything like working closely to the front lines. Yet, her bones still constantly ached, her feet were always swollen, her hands always full and all the while, it seemed that she earned a nickname among the other nurses, 'Goldie Locks'.

The funny thing was, her hair was brown, no mistaking it. Nothing gold about it, whatsoever. Instead, she had inquired the nickname for making sure everything was 'just right' as the others put it. She was meticulous with her work, but in Catherine's mind, these men put down their lives to fight. The least she could do was offer the best care possible, even if that meant staying hours past her shift to see to it. It wasn't like she was the only nurse who did so either.

She took a puff of the cigarette settled between her fingers and exhaled it.

In her other hand: a letter, from her family back home. Her younger brother wrote the lot of the letter, telling her about his schooling and his new interests. He boasted about his newest comic book, _Captain America's adventures'_ and asked if she met the masked hero himself. She smiled contently down at the letter. Her younger brother was so full of wonder, ignorance. She somewhat envied him, especially now. The last few lines were written in her mother's familiar fancy penmanship. It said the usual about making sure to be careful, don't do anything unmoral. If only her mother could see her. Standing in front of the medical building, having a puff. Man, would she let Catherine have it.

Catherine scoffed to herself and mushed the cigarette against her finger.. She then tucked it back into the cigarette box, folded the letter up, and stuffed it into her pocket. She would have to write back later.

"And what do you plan to do with your time off?" Patty asked coming up beside Catherine to give her hip a playful jut.

Catherine laughed lightly and shook her head at the nurse. Patty was a nice girl and pretty too. She had soft blonde hair, that always seemed to fall just right, the nurses uniform, although very plain, fit her figure in just the right places and her confidence was enough to draw any guy in. If she wasn't so nice, Catherine may even dislike the woman a tiny bit or a lot.

"Sleep," Catherine answered earnestly as she turned to go back inside.

Patty huffed loudly and followed Catherine's suit. "Wrong answer," she replied playfully. "We, my friend, are going dancing."

Catherine looked over at the woman in bewilderment. Like she just grew two more heads. There was no way. "We have a free night, and all you want to do is sleep? Cathy, have some fun."

Catherine rolled her eyes at the woman and sighed. "Well, I guess, dancing does sound kinda fun."

The blonde's face lit up.

* * *

"Stop messing with your hair, you will frizz it up." Patty said swatting Catherine's hand as she tried to fiddle with the curls. Catherine's hair wasn't the shiniest, her figure was kind of curvy in some ways, it didn't really fit into dresses all that right, but Patty had cast a magic spell on her or something. The woman staring back at her in the mirror wasn't the Catherine she grew up knowing or ever being.

Her lips were painted with a bright red lipstick, and that same color coated her fingernails. Although, they were required to wear an off duty uniform, Catherine looked like she could dance the night away, with loose curls in her hair, and more makeup on than usual. Patty smiled brightly into the reflection from behind Catherine proudly.

"Who knows," she said giving Catherine a hopeful look. "Maybe, that soldier your always drooling over will be there."

Catherine's heart retreated into the pit of her stomach. Patty laughed as her face slowly began to turn red.

"I-" she said lost for words. "I didn't-"

"Falsworth, I think his name is." Patty sent Catherine a sly wink. "He never comes around that often, but do not think I haven't noticed." Patty left the reflection. "We should better hop to it," she said gathering her purse.

Catherine nodded silently and followed the woman out. They hurried to catch the last transporting vehicle leaving the base for the night. Patty was more excited than ever, and Catherine a little pale. If Patty noticed, who else did? She swallowed down that upsetting thought and focused on leaving base, and mingling with the outside world for the first time in a very long time.

The music coming from the band was very loud, almost deafening. She had never been to an actual dance club and judging by the people on the dance floor, never really danced either. She was mesmerized by the way they swung around, skipped, twirled, and all to a common rhythm. Catherine was starting to figure out she was very inexperienced in a lot of things, despite being twenty-four. Her mother guarded her from the outside world. Only permitting, as she put it, moral activities. The last man she danced with was her father. She swallowed thickly and allowed herself to be pulled towards the bar. A drink would surely do the trick and calm her nerves.

"Look who's here," Patty said leaning in and whispering in Catherine's ear. Catherine followed Patty's eyes, which were about ready to fall out, from all the ogling she was doing. There on the other side of the bar, stood a very tall, blonde man, who was buff in all the right places. Catherine looked back down at the drink in her hands. She knew who he was of course. Everyone, and she meant everyone, was very aware of the going ons of the SSR building that stood only a few feet from the hospital. Of course, everyone who worked at camp or at least the nurses, were made to sign a privacy waver. Meaning as much as her brother asked, she could never tell him, yes. She did in fact know Captain America or at least see him pretty often.

She was going to need a few more.

She gulped down the rest of her drink and waved down the bartender for another one. "Easy there," Patty said swatting Catherine's shoulder. "I don't think Mr. America will like a drunk Cathy. Even though, I have a hunch you are a pretty cool after having a few."

Cathy had never been drunk before. "Got it," she said nodding grabbing the new drink from the bartender's hand. "Oh," she said noticing it was a different color than the one before. "I don't think-".

"It's from the man over there," the bartender said pointing past them. Patty and Catherine turned around simultaneously. A man, donning an air force uniform raised his glass towards their way. He had sandy brown hair, a decent smile and was tall.

"I guess the whole gang is here tonight," Patty said whispering over to Catherine. "Take a sip of the drink."

"I'm sorry?" Catherine said looking over at Patty bewildered.

"Show him you are interested."

Catherine hesitantly took a sip from the glass in her hands. They watched as he set his drink down and began to make his way towards them. Patty quickly spun back around to face the bar. "What-"

"Flirt a little, bat your eyes and don't mess with your uniform. You want him to know you are confident." Patty whispered before grabbing her drink off the bar and hurrying off.

Catherine didn't feel the least bit confident at the moment.

"Hi," the man greeted her he leaned against the bar and waved down the bartender.

"Hey," she squeaked out. _Get a hold of yourself._ The man turned and surveyed the dance floor, and slid one hand into his pant's pocket.

"It's pretty full in here," he said turning and grabbing the drink the bartender offered.

"It is," she agreed slightly nodding her head. The man turned and looked at her, his eyes scanning her face. A slow smile spread across his face.

"Do you want to dance," he held out his hand to her and set down the drink.

"Oh," she said wildly blushing, "Sure."

Catherine took his hand and let him lead her out to the dance floor.

"I have to warn you, " he said as they made their way through the other dancers. "I haven't done this in such a long time."

"Don't worry," Catherine said grabbing his other hand as they began to swing. "I'm not very good myself."

The man's smile widened and they began to dance to the music.

"I've had a lot of fun with you, tonight." John, which he introduced himself as, said as the music began to slow and they fell into a sway.

Catherine's feet ached from all the dancing, her heart was beating out of her chest and her forehead was covered in sweat. She jumped when the man placed his hand on her waist.

"Me too," she was unsure on how she felt about this. "You are a pretty good dancer."

"So are you," he said stepping a bit closer.

"Sorry to interrupt," Patty said grabbing her arm and pulling them apart. "But we have to go. We are way past curfew."

"Wait," Catherine said as Patty began to whisk her away. She pulled her arm back and hurried back over to John. "Thank you for the dance," she said hesitating for a moment. He was much taller than her. She quickly jumped up and pressed her lips against his. He jumped at the sudden contact, but melted into her, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. She pulled apart from him after a few seconds and smiled. "Be careful out there."

Catherine let Patty grab her hand and pull her out of the club. The blonde woman had a sly smirk on her face as she waved down the last leaving truck and they hurriedly climbed into the back.

"That was close," Catherine remarked pushing her back against side of the truck. The vehicle shook and rumbled as it drove. She squeezed her eyes shut and sighed lightly as she reminisced about the night. She felt like she was being stared out, no doubt by Patty, who probably had the smuggest look on her face. "Stop looking at me like that," she muttered opening her eyes and meeting the blondes eyes.

"Like what?" she said her eyes averting to behind Catherine and then back at her. The brunette creased her eyebrows together when her friend did it once more, winked and then sat back. "You've had a night, 'Goldie'." she added Catherine's nicknames teasingly. "It's always nice to have a break isn't it?" she threw to the back of the truck.

Catherine slowly turned her head to see the group of men sitting in the very back quietly. It would've been humorous if it hadn't been her in the situation.

"I can't imagine what it's like for all of you," she continued. "but, it was sure nice for us to have some time out of the hospital."

Come on. She thought to herself and offered a shy smile to the men as she tore her eyes away.

"Nurses?" Captain America asked looking between the two.

Catherine resigned to picking her thumb as Patty spoke. When she finally tuned in again, the man sitting beside Cap, the one who had caught her staring a while back, cut in.

"You'll have to excuse Steve," he said. She looked up and he gave her a charming smile. "He tends to be an airhead sometimes. Especially, around dames as beautiful as yourselves."

She didn't mean to blush at his words, but it just happened.

"I'm Bucky," he said and she swore he might've winked.

"You'll have to excuse him. He doesn't know how to act around women either, I'm Gabe." Gabe reached across and offered her and Catherine a hand shake.

"Nice to meet you," she said kindly.

"This is," he continued pointing to each man. "Dugan, Morita," he motioned to the man on the other side of him. "Jacque-"

"Jacques," the man interrupted, his accent French.

"And Falsworth," Gabe finished motioning over to the man Catherine's eyes were purposely avoiding .

"Hello," he said politely.

There wasn't much conversation after that from Catherine, but Patty's words never stopped coming. Finally, the truck stopped abruptly. She nearly launched out of her seat. After quickly gathering herself, she stood.

"Well, it was nice to meet you all," she grabbed Patty by the arm and practically tripped over herself to get out of the truck. "We better go before we're late."

"A few more minutes wouldn't of hurt," Patty complained as Catherine dragged her along.

"A few more minutes and I would've had caught on fire," she said motioning to her beet red face. Patty let out a bubble of laughter and looked back to wave.

"Don't look know," she whispered coyly. "But, he's watching you."

"He's probably staring at you," Catherine shot back. She didn't need a name to know who Patty was referring to.

"I have a feeling I'm not his 'cup of tea'." she said putting on a posh accent.

"He doesn't talk like that."

"Yeah, you would know. You my friend have had one night," Patty pulling out of Catherine's grasp smiling widely.

What a night indeed. She huffed to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Just a Nurse**

 **Chapter 3**

* * *

"I said I'm fine," Howard Stark complained as he was escorted into the hospital by Agent Carter. Most of the nurses bustling around seemed to freeze in place, intrigued, and flustered by the handsome man, except Catherine. She was by the medicine shelf, with a clipboard, too immersed in finishing the monthly supplies report, since it was due later that day.

"Nurse Goldie," Peggy called.

Catherine stopped what she was writing and looked up, a bit startled by the familiar British voice. Was she in trouble?

"Y- yes?" she asked handing off the clipboard and pen and hurrying over to the woman.

"I need you to check over Mr. Stark, he was caught in an unfortunate blast." She was holding onto the man's arm tightly.

"I'm fine," he insisted pulling his arm away from her and looked over at Catherine. A smirk rose onto his lips as he coolly shoved his hands into his pockets and tilted his head to the side. "Goldie, huh?" .

"Um-" She was unsure on what to say. She was beyond clueless. She surprised by the fact people like Agent Carter caught onto the nickname.

"Howard," said offering his hand to her. "You have probably heard of me."

"Sure," Catherine replied. By now, the flustered feeling of having a man flirt with her had long faded. She figured, most soldiers were just bored and looking for a good time. A Time Catherine was not up for offering them. She gave his hand a shake and then glanced behind her to see if there were any open beds. "I'm afraid there isn't much room," she said looking past Howard and over to Peggy.

"You know," Howard started. "I think you are right, Carter. I do need to be looked over."

Now, that did cause Catherine to blush, but she suppressed it. _He is not an exception,_ she thought to herself. But, she did admit, it was kind of flattering. Even if he went after anything with two legs and a skirt.

"He can stand," Peggy said, rolling her eyes at Howard.

Catherine nodded and held out an arm. "Right this way then."

Howard followed her as she made her way towards a place that wasn't every crowded. "So, do have a first name or do you want me to guess it?" He continued as she told him to unbutton his shirt.

"It doesn't make a difference," she replied as he slipped off the shirt. She ignored the fact a crowd of nurses was beginning to form. Most doing some unnecessary things just to stand and watch. The physical was quick, she made sure of it. "There's nothing wrong," she said delivering him back to Peggy who was waiting in the same spot they left her.

"What did I tell you?" He asked a cocky grin on his face.

"Please remember, Howard, you aren't invincible." She turned on her foot and exited the hospital. Howard was quick to follow.

Catherine was left standing there a bit taken back. Patty stopped beside her and looked at the door. "I'd stay away from that one," she remarked giving Catherine a look. "I heard he's trouble."

"What kind of stuff do you think goes on in the SSR building?" she asked dazedly.

"I don't know," Patty replied looking at Catherine. "Nothing we would understand."

"Yea," she agreed with a quick nod. "You are probably right."

She grabbed the clipboard back and went on filling out the inventory report with her mind reeling with questions. Catherine knew she couldn't begin comprehend all the science stuff, but that didn't put her curiosity at ease and for the next few days that's all she wondered about. Which is why she jumped at the chance to pay a visit to the SSR building.

"I just need these reports dropped off," the superintendent explained as she handed Catherine a pile of files. "That's it."

Catherine nodded eagerly, not caring why the files needed to be dropped off. Just that she was the one who was going to do it. She was happily sent on her way, more excited than ever.

The SSR building was on the edge of the base and a twenty minute walk at least. She pulled the dark blue cape she was wearing, tighter around her body. Winter was beginning to fade away into early spring. The air was more refreshing, but still chilly. She sighed and began her way.

 _Should I knock first?_ Catherine questioned herself as she climbed the steps to the SSR building. Was that proper? Should she just walk in? The SSR people were very secretive and Agent Carter was proof of it. Though, from what Catherine had heard, there was no one quite like Peggy.

She slowly entered the building felling very unsure of herself.

"May I help you?" A voice asked causing Catherine to slightly jump. A woman, sat behind a secretary's desk her eyebrow slightly raised.

"I've just come to drop of some files from the hospital," Catherine replied handing them off. She was quickly drinking in her surroundings and was more amazed than ever. It wasn't a very exciting place to look at, but compared to where she spent all her time, it was simply astounding. Everything screamed 'business' and seriousness. It was like she was another world, not on an army base.

The secretary cleared her throat and Catherine forcibly looked at her, mouth slightly agape. "Is that all?" she asked, an unfriendly tone lacing her voice.

"Ye-"

"Sarah!" a familiar drawl exclaimed causing Catherine to stop short. She was enveloped in a light hug and given a kiss on the cheek by the one and only Howard Stark. "Did I get it right?" he asked after taking a step back.

She was astonished, surprised, and blushing. Apparently, she wasn't immune to everything. Howard had appeared out of thin air. "Um-" she said clearing her throat. "Excuse me?"

"Your name," he elaborated more. "Sarah?"

"Um, no?" she said beyond confused. He sighed and slipped his hands into his pockets. He took his time to look her over.

"Damn it," he muttered then turned around to the secretary. "I hope you are being treated nicely," the tone he used made it sound like he and the secretary had some in depth conversation about decency. The woman scoffed, stood and left with the files in hand.

"I just came to drop something off," Catherine said quickly as she adjusted her cape, which was now hanging off of one shoulder, to cover her entirely. "I should probably go."

"Nonsense," Howard said stopping her from exiting the building. "It's freezing chilly out there. Why don't you stay and warm up a bit?"

"Um-" Catherine said hesitating. "I really should be getting back to work."

"Are you sure," he said stopping her as she turned to leave. "I could really use an outsider's opinion on something anyway."

Her curiosity told her to go with the man. "Alright."

"Great," Howard said ushering her deeper into the building. "Pretty amazing, huh?" he asked, noticing the wonderment in her eyes.

"Something like that," she muttered.

They stopped at a heavy looking door and Howard turned to face her. "Now," he said seriously. "What you are about to see is top secret and can not be discussed about anywhere outside this building, alright?" She nodded eagerly as he unlocked the door and led her through.

* * *

"What do you see?" he asked as he paced through the lines of tables. She held up the device in her hand and squinted.

"Um, a pen?"

"Perfect!" Howard exclaimed going over, grabbing the pen and setting it back down on the table of other everyday items. "Do you see anything threatening? Weapon looking?"

"No?" Catherine was utterly confused. She felt like whatever he was getting at was going right over her head and out the door. "What am I looking at exactly?" she finally asked.

"This, sweetheart, is-"

"Howard, the team is here." They were interrupted by Peggy entering the room with Steve and his team following closely behind. The woman paused when she noticed Catherine and her eyes narrowed. "Nurse Goldie." her tone said, 'what are you doing here?'.

"Peggy," Howard greeted nodding at her. He placed a hand on the small of Catherine's back and smiled. "I was just getting a second opinion."

"From an outsider," Peggy said seemingly unhappy. The men standing behind her looked utterly confused and Catherine started to feel like, maybe, she should've just left when she had the chance.

"I didn't really mean any trouble," she offered breaking up the staring mach the two were having.

"You're fine," he said offering an encouraging pat on her back before turning to Peggy. "I didn't seem the harm. She's just a nurse."

The really hit home for Catherine. She felt like she had just been stabbed and took a step back from Howard. Hher eyes narrowed and were as sharp as daggers.

"Just a nurse?" she asked obviously offended.

Howard turned and looked at her, a bit taken back. "I just meant-"

"Now I may not understand any-" she motioned towards the table. "Of this, but let me tell you I am not _just_ a nurse. You have not seen the things I have," she said pointing a finger towards him. "I save countless of soldiers each day and I will have you know, that is _not_ an easy job." She huffed and turned to Peggy. "I apologize if this causes any trouble," she said earnestly. "I won't tell anyone."

She then cast one more glare at Howard before pushing past the group and exiting. "Just a nurse," she huffed one last time.

When she arrived back at the hospital, she hurried back to work.

"So," Patty asked coming up beside Catherine, who was checking on an unconscious soldier. "How was it?"

"How was what?" she muttered a she rung out the towel she was using to wipe the man's face.

"The SSR building."

"Boring," she replied monotonously. "Too much stuff going on. Nothing I would understand, after all, I'm just a nurse." She added the last part bitterly.

"Hey," Patty said placing hand on Catherine's shoulder as she noticed the tone. The brown haired girl looked up. "There's no better job than being a nurse and it's even better when the uniforms don't look half bad." Patty ran a hand down the side of her uniform and struck a pose.

Catherine let out a laugh and nodded. "What could be better than that?" she asked sarcastically.

"Exactly."

 _A/N: This was a small filler chapter, but it did introduce Stark to Catherine. I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday and happy 2018!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Traitors**

 **Chapter 4**

* * *

Catherine sat in her bed, her hair in curlers, nightdress on, body shivering, and eyes wide open. Moments before, she found herself sleeping peaceful, without problem. But, nurse Carrie, on the bunk above her, had a habit of falling asleep while reading. Her book must of slipped off the bed, when she shifted or something, because when Catherine jumped awake, it was lying on the ground and was also the only plausible source of the loud noise that woke her.

She glanced around the tent at the other women. Most were asleep, but some were just laying in bed staring up, unaffected. Catherine let out sigh and gently picked up the book. Working in the field hospital had done something to her sleep. Any little sound caused her to jump awake. Thank goodness there weren't any loud snorers in the tent she was in. Otherwise, she may never be able to sleep.

With a sigh, she laid back down and attempted to close her eyes. The loud sound still rang in her ears, the initial panic still jumping through her veins. After a few good minutes, she let out large sigh and slipped out of bed.

"Where are you going?" one of the still awake women asked as she pulled on her cape, and slipped on her shoes.

"For a walk," she muttered as she silently exited the barracks. She wouldn't go far. Maybe just once around the area and she wouldn't stay out long. Just enough to calm down her mind, so she could fall back asleep. Besides, it would be embarrassing to be caught walking around, looking so indecent. The sudden urge to smoke cam upon her as she made her way through and she cursed herself. The cigarettes were left in her uniform, so she wouldn't forget them tomorrow.

Catherine let out a big sigh, and the air around her turned white. She wrapped her arms around her body and looked down at the ground as she walked. When her legs began to feel like blocks of ice, and her body refused to stop shivering, Catherine decided to go back to bed.

She turned on her foot and began to make her way back. But then, something stopped her. It was low, and could barely be heard, but the sound of a tune being whistled came from further out, away from the tents. Catherine paused and listened. It was an unfamiliar tune.

She told herself to go back to bed, to forget about it, and report it in the morning. And that's what she began to do, but something stopped her again. Catherine hesitated, curiosity was going to get her hurt one day. She turned the opposite way and began to follow the whistling.

She wasn't sure what she expected to find. She hadn't expected to see the solider that always made her heart beat irregularly strolling through the base, his hands slipped into his pockets, whistling a tune. As Catherine hurried to the edge of the tent site, he became more clearer, and before she could turn and retreat the other way, he stopped her.

"Hello?" he called out nearing her, his calm voice making her freeze up.

She slowly turned back around to face him, her face slowly turning red. "Hi," she said taking a few more steps closer. He stopped inches away from her and creased his eyebrows together. She shifted under his gaze.

"You know, it is not very safe to walk the base at night." He said slowly coming closer.

"Yet, here you are, strolling through." She pointed out as she grabbed the side of her blue cape and began to finger the thick material. "We heard your whistling, the girls and I. We were startled. So, I came to investigate." She said excusing her reason for being out so late.

"You all must have excellent hearing then," his facial expression was sober, no smile, no indication of interest. Just sober. "I apologize for the startle."

"It's alright," she said quickly.

"But," he said quickly, clearing his throat. "Wouldn't it of been smarter to alert someone instead of going out and investigating yourself?"

Catherine swallowed thickly. "Well," she said breathing in deeply and then exhaling. "I guess that would have been smart," she said slowly. "But, we were all so startled, we didn't think."

Falsworth nodded silently and she pressed her lips together. He was mystery to her. Maybe that's why she was so interested. From what she observed, he was reserved, yet so charming and she hadn't spoken to him all but twice. Both conversations consisted of less than ten sentences.

"Couldn't sleep?" she asked catching his interest once more.

"No," he said pausing for a moment. "No, I suppose not. I just needed to clear my head a bit, that's all."

"I understand," she said nodding.

"Do you?" he asked as if he didn't believe her. She was silent for a moment as she thought. Maybe Catherine didn't, but she experienced her share of terror and there would aspects of her that would never be the same. Especially, after seeing what she did nearly every day for about two years.

"I was first assigned to a field hospital," she offered as she looked down to the ground. "All I had was four weeks of training, and no idea about what it was really like. Back home- in Chicago, I think the war had it's affects on everyday life, but that is nothing compared to what it's like being in the middle of the action. Nearly every other day we were evacuated, it isn't fun to have the ground shaking underneath you each time walked," she paused and looked over at Falsworth.

He was staring at her, his eyebrows drawn together, lips slightly parted, concentrated on her, his eyes piercing hers. She continued, "It was so hectic, so- so hopeless and terrifying." Catherine had never told anyone this before. It felt strange to put into words how she felt about it, how it left her.

"There's nothing like fearing your life, as you work to save others. Scared you are going to be hit by a bullet. Scared to walk the grounds, afraid that it may be your last day. It still haunts me. I can't imagine what it's like to be out there fighting, but I do know, this war is a lot to swallow. A lot to _think_ about."

She fell silent, and it was just them, staring at each other. Catherine's breath was caught in her throat, her heart was thrumming. After a few moments of him searching her eyes, he took a deep breath and looked away.

"You are right," he finally said staring down at the ground. "It is terrifying." He slightly turned his body and looked behind him, at particularly nothing and then back at her. "I apologize for the fright," he said with a small sigh. "You should probably head back though, the nurses are what keep us soldiers in good health. You need all the sleep you can get."

Catherine nodded, a bit disappointed. "You should get some sleep too," she offered him a warm smile. "I don't think it would be good for any of us, if you fell asleep on the job."

Falsworth let out a light scoff and for the first time since their conversation started, he offered a small smile. "I suppose you are right."

"Of course I am," she said. "I'm a nurse, I know these things."

"Right you are," he nodded and took his hands out of his pockets. "Well," he said glancing at the ground and then back at her. "Goodnight Catherine."

"Goodnight Falsworth," she replied quietly.

He gave her quick nod and turned on his foot. Catherine tried not to let out dreamy sigh as she turned and made her way back to her tent, but it just happened.

Falsworth paused, and glanced back at her, the strangest feeling washing over him. He wasn't all too sure about what just happened, but for some reason, he knew he was in trouble.

Catherine entered the tent once more, everyone was a sleep now. She took off her cape and stumbled back into bed. She had never told anyone about her experience at the Field Hospital, never talked about it once. It was strange to finally tell someone, express her feelings. It was strange. She stared up at the bunk above her and just thought, one had mindlessly reaching and touching her hair.

She paused and felt the curlers tightly secured in her hair and jumped up. _Oh dear,_ she thought to herself. With a loud groan she fell back into her bed and squeezed her eyes shut. She never failed to embarrass herself, did she?

For the rest of the night, she tossed and turned, not able to fall asleep. Her mind was focused on him, focused on the conversation they had. Her stomach was twisted in knots, she felt queasy. She was left wondering if he was having the same problem. But, shook her head at the silly thought. There was no way.

* * *

It wasn't the wake up call she expected.

"Catherine!" Patty exclaimed shaking her awake aggressively. Her eyes shot open and jumped back startled at the sudden intrusion. "The SSR building," she said shock and panic written all over her face.

The rest of the nurses were jumping out of bed, all seeming very discombobulated, and tugging on their uniform in a rush.

"What," she asked pushing to sit up. "What happened?"

"One of the labs exploded."

She followed the rest of the nurses and hurriedly got ready. Without thinking much about her hair or the wrinkled uniform, she grabbed her hat and rushed out to the hospital.

"Goldie," Chief nurse said hurriedly shoving bandages into her hands. "East wing, now." The urgency in her voice startled Catherine.

When she entered the East wing, she couldn't believe her eyes. She didn't waste time and began to work.

The man laying in the bed moaned in pain, his face nearly burned completely. "It's going to be alright," she assured him softly as she set the ointment and gauze down. Almost done with the man, she was interrupted.

"Miss Goldie," Catherine looked up from the man to see Peggy standing in the door way. "Please come with me."

Catherine gulped and motioned for another nurse to take over. She glanced over at Patty, who looked terrified for her, and followed Carter out of the wing. The woman didn't offer anything further as she led Catherine out of the hospital.

"Where are we going?" she asked utterly confused. "I should be helping. You can't just pull me away-"

"Miss Goldie," Peggy's voice cold. "I advise you keep you mouth shut and follow my directions, because you have no idea what kind of trouble you are in."

Catherine pressed her lips together and felt as if the worst was about to come.


	5. Chapter 5

_Hope you all enjoy! Don't forget to review._

 **Complicated**

 **Chapter 5**

* * *

"I don't understand," Catherine exclaimed as she was led into an empty room. "I have been working at the base for nearly five months now. You can't really think I-"

"Everyone who comes in and out of this building is accounted for," Peggy explained as she motioned for Catherine to take a seat. "Except you. Not to mention, you are not one of our workers. This is something that never should've happened and it were up to me you would have been checked out immediately."

Catherine swallowed thickly as she took a seat at the table. The lie detector machine was turned on. She felt stick to her stomach.

"Now," Peggy said placing her hands on the table, intertwined. "Did or did you not leave your tent last night, in the middle of the night."

"I did," she replied. Catherine knew she hadn't done anything wrong, but the the thought of others thinking that, scared her. She wondered how Peggy knew that she went on a walk last night, but then realized there were several people who could've told her. Some of the other nurses were still awake when she left and then there was Falsworth. It sickened her to think that he, at that moment thought she was a traitor.

"Why?"

"I couldn't sleep. There was a lot on my mind and I needed some fresh air."

"Falsworth says he ran into you, at the edge of the base, where the tents were, is that true."

"Yes," Catherine said. "But-" Peggy stopped her.

"What were you doing?"

"I heard whistling," she said with a sigh. "I was going to go back to bed, but something stopped me."

"That's not what he claims you told him," Peggy replied.

"Going to investigate? I was embarrassed and we both knew I was lying."Catherine could already tell she was blushing because Peggy looked at her twice before moving on.

"Have you told anyone about what you saw in the labs."

"No," Catherine said

The questioning seemed to go on forever, and Catherine grew more nervous by the second. When she was finally let out, she was relieved. Peggy opened the door to the room and let her step out first. Two men stood outside the door.

"No need," Peggy said waving the two off. "She checks out."

That caused Catherine to allow herself to breathe and wipe the sweat from her forehead. Peggy lead her out of the building, not saying much until the reached the front. "I advise you," she finally said stopping Catherine before she left. "To be very careful."

She nodded once unsure on what else to do and exited the building, vowing once more to never go near it again.

"I was terrified," Patty exclaimed as she entered the hospital. Everything seemed less hectic, but there was still work to be done. She pulled Catherine into a tight hug and then sighed as she stepped back. "What happened?"

"Can we talk about this later?" she replied, hoping that after a few hours the blonde would forget and they would never speak about it again. "Right now, I'm just worried about helping the rest of the workers."

Patty nodded, understandingly and the two got to work.

* * *

It was another week until Catherine saw Falsworth again and this time in more unfortunate circumstances. She didn't know much about what happened. Just that the mission had gone south and ended up leaving a few of the commandos seriously injured. It was a first for her. Seeing them come into the hospital, in need for serious medical attention. Surprisingly, the most they ever came back with was a few scrapes and bruises, and Jacques was a field medic. So this, seeing Falsworth sitting on one of the beds, a bulled lodged into his shoulder, possible broken ribs and serious bleeding? This was new.

But, she wasn't too concerned about him, but for Gabe. He was unconscious, clumps of sulfa powder covering the dyer wound. A large gash in the top of his chest. She wasn't qualified enough to work on him, but sadly, everyone else had their hands full or so they claimed. She was quick to clean the wound and was astonished he was still breathing, as bad as it sounded.

"Stay with me," she muttered as she gave him a shot of penicillin and ordered one of the passing nurses bring a plasma transfusion. She could tell that his team were more concerned about him than themselves. Steve had to be escorted out of the hospital by Peggy and the rest. Falsworth demanded Gabe be taken care of first and refused to let a nurse touch him.

Catherine was going to pull off a miracle and not do anything less. She refused to to do anything less.

"I thought they released you," Catherine said causing the man on the bed to jump. Falsworth sat there observing Gabe. Catherine was able to stabilize him and after two plasma transfusions, she was hopeful he would survive.

The facility had long cleared out and only left a few nurses who took the night shift. Although, Catherine was supposed to be in bed, she found herself walking to the hospital, this time not in her pajamas, to check on the man. She hadn't expected to see Falsworth there. He looked over at her.

"They tried to," he replied looking back at Gabe. "I didn't want to leave him here, alone." She noticed his shoulder was wrapped in gauze, and there was no doubt his torso was as well. "I thought you would have given up wandering around the camp at night."

"I just want to check on him," she replied walking over to the Gabe's bed. "I was scared he wouldn't make it through the night."

Falsworth silently nodded. "Thank you," he said after a few moments. "Thank you for saving him."

"I was just doing my job," she replied offering him a weak smile.

"He saved me," Falsworth breathed out. "Without him, I would be dead right now."

His bluntness surprised her. She fell silent unsure of what to say, what to do. She began to fluff the pillows behind Gabe's head.

"You were right," he said pausing a moment. That caught Catherine's attention. After readjusting Gabe's pillows she turned her attention to him.

'The war," he looked weak, broken down and beat. This was something Catherine had never seen before. This wasn't the usual calm demeanor, and straight faced man she was used to seeing. "It's terrifying to think about," he said exhaling deeply. "You don't know what you are really signing up for, until you actually arrive. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty, but-" he paused and took in a deep breath. "I didn't think it would be like this. I've been fighting for so long, I sometimes forget why- I'm fighting. You were right the other night, everything is just so- so hopeless."

They both fell silent, staring at each other.

Catherine was taken back. She was unsure on what to say. She was afraid that as soon as she opened her mouth that she would break down into tears. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat and nodded. "I was just doing my job," she replied quietly.

The next day, Falsworth left the hospital, not wanting to take up more room. Catherine made sure to check up on Gabe around the clock, but he stood unconscious. She was worried, but the fact he still had an evident heart beat was what kept her from giving up.

She was tired, really tired. Once again, she was kept awake by Falsworth running through her mind. His words somewhat haunted her, but the thought of giving him something to hold onto? Happiness was something that ran short nowadays and even when you did feel happy, it never lasted long.

She was starting to feel the lasting affects of exhaustion from never being able to get an actual good night's sleep. Even when a certain British soldier wasn't on her mind. She wondered what life would be like after the war was over, she feared it would never be the same.

* * *

"How is he?" Steve asked as he hovered over the bed. It was past lunchtime and Catherine had opted out of the midday meal, just in case he came to.

"Better," she replied placing a cool towel on his forehead. "I'm hoping he will come to soon, but I don't know. I have good faith he will survive, but it's safe to say he won't be fit to go on anymore missions for a while."

"I think you are right about that," Steve nodded with a sigh. Catherine found herself wanting to ask something, but didn't want to to rude. She opened her mouth to speak, but quickly shut it. Steve glanced up at her and then back down at Gabe. "They were expecting us," he said with guiltiness in his tone. "We walked right into a trap and some of us paid for it and some of us didn't. He pushed Falsworth out of the way of a piece of falling debris. They exploded their own facility," he looked back up at Catherine, evident sadness in his eyes. "We didn't know if he would survive."

Catherine cleared her throat and looked back down at Gabe. "When he comes to, we should start him slowly. I don't think any missions will do him good, at least not yet, but some physical activities may help."

"Of course," Steve said nodding a weak smile on his lips.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **New Nurses**

* * *

 _A/N: Please, feel free to review. I want to know what you all think. Enjoy!_

"I don't like her," Patty declared as she handed Catherine unused bandages. The two were talking about the new transfer nurse. They both looked over at the chatty brunette making a group of soldiers laugh. She arrived three days ago with an authentic British accent and a charming smile that most of the men on the compound swooned over.

"You don't know her," Cathy sighed as she turned back to changing bandages on a soldier.

"Oh yes I do," Patty said crossing her arms. "She's the type of woman who takes all the good men and ruin them, leaving us the greasy good for nothing losers." Cathy couldn't help but let out small chuckle. Which caused Patty to narrow her eyes. "What?" She asked.

"You think she's competition," Catherine said gathering up the soiled bandages and standing.

"Well, yes." Patty said. "But, more importantly-"

"Is this how you acted when I first arrived?" Catherine asked disposing of the bandages and going to wash her hands.

"Oh gosh no," Patty laughed and received a dirty look from Cathy. "It's just that, ya know."

Catherine stared at her blankly. "You're-" Patty paused and motioned over Cathy.

"You know what? We should invite her to our next outing."

Patty huffed, but didn't argue.

* * *

Gabe sat still as Catherine undid the bandage. It was officially a week, the day before, since Gabe woke up and he was doing good, but that didn't stop her from worrying.

"How do you feel?" she asked as she pulled back the last bandage. It was bloody which wasn't a good sign. She reached over and grabbed the towel out of the water basin and began to gently blot the wound. It didn't look infected, but she still wanted to make sure it was clean.

"Good, I guess," Gabe answered looking over at his wound. Catherine knew what happened because Steve told her. Gabe didn't talk about it. Not even once. He sighed deeply and shook his head. "I just feel a bit useless right now," he said earnestly.

Catherine momentarily looked up at him and offered a slight smile. "Don't," she said putting the towel back and began to dress the wound. "I'm glad you're here otherwise I would worry." She doubted that made the soldier feel better, but he offered a weak smile.

Captain America and the rest of the commandos were off on another mission. Which meant, Gabe was here all alone. She didn't know much about the men, but she realized if he and the others had one thing in common, it was they hated feeling useless.

"Did you meet the new nurse?" She asked changing the subject. Gabe momentarily winced and she quickly muttered a apology.

"No," he answered.

"She's just transferred here, from-" Catherine paused and then sighed deeply. "I forgot where, but somewhere in the UK."

Gabe quietly nodded. "Anyway, she's a bit chatty if you ask me, but she seems nice enough."

"That's good," he said absentmindedly. "About how long do you think it will be until I can be sent back out."

"A few more weeks," she responded as she grabbed a new gauze and began to wrap the wound. "At most."

After a few more moments she sat back and offered him a smile. "All done."

It was a good week until the commandos and cap came back. They were tired, beaten up, and happy to rest. "So, does that mean you aren't coming then?" Cathy asked Gabe as she checked his wound.

"No, not tonight." he answered with an apologetic smile. After spending so much time together, the two had become quite close with in the week. Cathy invited Gabe to come out with her and Patty, but he wanted to spend sometime with his team, who weren't exactly up for a night out on the town at the moment. She smiled and shrugged.

"I understand, tell them I said hi," she said before she could stop themselves. "Not that they would care but-"

"I'll pass the message on," Gabe said with a slight chuckle.

"All done," Catherine said sitting back.

"Thanks," he said as he grabbed his shirt and slipped it back on. "Have fun tonight."

After Gabe left, Catherine gathered up all the waste and stood. That's when she spotted Mary outside. She quickly disposed of the waste and went out to meet her. Cathy meant to invite Mary out for sometime now, but there was always something to be done and lately the chief nurse had been scolding her and Patty for chatting so much.

"Mary," she said as she exited the building. The woman turned and smiled when she saw Catherine.

"Goldie, right?" she greeted as she readjusted her hat.

"Actually, that's just a silly name the other nurses-" she stopped herself when she noticed the empty smile on the woman's face. "Anyway, we have leave tonight. So, I was wondering if you would like to go out with Patty and I."

"Oh, that sounds like fun." Mary said slowly.

"Great, well we can all get ready-"

"But, I have plans," she continued cutting Catherine off.

Cathy was a bit taken back by that, but she didn't pry. "Oh," she said with an awkward laugh. "Well, okay. Um, if you do happen to find yourself free-"

"Thanks," Mary said slightly perking up as she looked past Catherine. "But, excuse me." Mary pushed past Cathy with determination in her eye.

Out of curiosity, Cathy turned around to see what was so interesting and felt her heart drop.

"James! James, is that you?" Falsworth was stepping out of the post. He looked up in mild surprise and then smiled as he saw her. "Do you remember me?"

She didn't want to know how or why the two knew each other. She sighed deeply and hurried back inside the hospital.

* * *

"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong, or are you going to continue to silently grieve," Patty said as she applied rouge to her cheeks. Cathy was sitting on her bed, buckling her heels.

"I'm not grieving," she shot back defensively.

"Alright, pouting, brooding, smold-"

"It's just that I saw Mary and Falsworth earlier," she said cutting Patty off.

"So, you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous," she replied quietly.

Patty looked up and snorted. "You are jealous and I don't blame you. I would be jealous too."

Catherine sighed and shook her head. "Can I use your lipstick?"

Patty nodded.

* * *

"My head is pounding," Catherine complained as she pulled off her night gown and slipped into her uniform. Patty snorted from beside her as she did the same thing.

"You had quite a night," the blonde said when Cathy threw her a dirty look.

Catherine shook her head and began to button up her nurses uniform. "I don't remember it being-"

"I'm surprised you remember anything at all," Patty remarked as she sat down on her bottom bunk bed and slipped on her shoes. "I'm going to grab a bite to eat. See ya out there," she called as she sauntered out of the tent. Cathy sighed and shook her head.

The first thing she did when she made it to the hospital was take some pain medicine and then, she grabbed the inventory clipboard and began to take count of stock. It was that time of month again where they were running low on most things, until the next delivery came in. It was also becoming more difficult to receive medical supplies. The last shipment was three weeks late.

Catherine smiled at passing nurses as she made her way to the supplies and out of the corner of her eye she saw Mary hustle into the building. She seemed a bit out of it. Her hair was messy, uniform slightly wrinkled, and eyes puffy as if she just woke up.

"Late night, Mary." a nurse asked causing the other woman around to giggle. Mary scolded, but quickly recovered with a slight smirk.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she replied tilting her head to the side.

No, Catherine really wouldn't. She shook her head to herself and continued on.


	7. Chapter 7

**Awkward Interactions**

 **Chapter 7**

* * *

As Catherine stood under the tree. Her stomach was in knots and her head pounded. She took in a deep drag of her cigarette and held it in for moment. When she exhaled, she imagined all her worries exited her body with the smoke. But, they didn't.

Catherine laid her head back against the tree with her chin tilted up. It was a rough day. Granted working in the hospital was never a walk in the park. Some days were worse than others. Today was one of those days.

She managed to slip away for a small moment to smoke. There was a small wooded area just at the edge of the camp. Catherine discovered it one day after a really difficult shift. She felt the need to walk and just kept walking until she ran out of buildings to look at. It was still close enough so she felt secure, but there was distance between her and reality when she was out there.

She let her self zone off and focused on her surroundings. The way the wind nipped at her ears and the wisps of loose hair that tickled her neck. She almost didn't hear him coming. At the sound of heavy boots and twigs snapping, she quickly opened her eyes. Thinking it was a superior, she quickly dropped her cigarette and smushed it. If she was caught out there, well, it would be trouble.

"Catherine?"

She slowly turned, her legs turning into mush at the way he said her name.

"Falsworth," she said sheepishly. This was way worse.

His brown hair was ruffled and messy. Those blue eyes that made her squirm, looked tired and there was a permanent grimace on his face. His clothes were tidy, but stained with soot. She almost wanted to ask what latest mission had brought him back in this state.

"We should stop meeting like this," he said in an attempt to be humorous.

"Don't worry," she replied. "No buildings to explode out here."

He was quiet and for a split moment. Then, he cracked a lazy grin and her brain went numb.

"I suppose you're right," he said taking a few steps closer. He looked down at the stomped on cigarette at her feet. 'I didn't know you smoked."

"It calms me down,"

"Me too," he replied digging a cig out of his front coat pocket. He lit it, breathed in and then exhaled with a sigh.

"How is Gabe?" she asked. It was his first mission since the injury.

"Good," was all he said after a moment of silence.

"How are you?" She asked before giving it any second thought. He creased his eyebrows together while taking a long drag.

After breathing out, he looked over at her and nodded. "I need a drink."

A sort of laugh escaped her throat before she could help herself. She blushed and looked to the ground as his eyes grew wide and a chuckle followed. Then it was silent. They stood there. Cathy looking at the ground as Falsworth just smoked.

"I come out here to think," he finally said.

"Great minds think alike," she remarked glancing up to find that he was staring right out her, observing. "I like how quiet it is."

"Me too."

"I should get back to the hospital," she said with a sigh.

He nodded and gently, doused the end of his cigarette with his thumb. "I'll walk you back." Cathy knew that by now her absence had been noticed, but she was leisurely with her pace.

Falsworth didn't seem to mind and fell into step beside her. Every so often their hands would brush, but much to her disappointment he would slightly move over or in other words away from her. "I'm glad I ran into you," he said. Catherine was alert at that.

"R-really?" She asked trying not to stumble over her words. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks.

"It was Gabe's idea, but would you-" he continued not noticing her blush, at least not acknowledging it. "So?" He ended with.

"Hmm?" Cathy said looking startled. She was too busy chastising herself on how he probably barely thought of her.

"Drinks," he repeated.

"Oh," she said woefully. "Um," she paused.

"Oh-" Falsworth said interrupting her. "And Mary as well."

She assumed he was naming everyone who would be there. That put a damper on things. After several attempts to be friendly with the woman, she was constantly met with a metaphorical slap in the face. Something she wasn't willing to admit to anyone but Patty.

"I don't think I'll be able to. It's just it's so busy at the hospital," they stopped in front of said building. Falsworth nodded understandingly.

"Of course," he said offering her a slight smile. "Well, maybe next time."

"You bet," she replied with a bright smile.

"James," they both turned to see Mary approaching them with a tight smile. Catherine snuck a look over to Falsworth to see the the half smile on her face.

"Thank you for walking me back, I should probably get back inside." He immediately turned his attention back to her.

He opened his mouth to say something, but she quickly turned on her foot and bounded back inside. She ducked her head in attempts to hide her blush as Mary brushed past her without a second thought.

"Where were you?" Patty asked as Catherine aggressively grabbed a pile of linens and chucked on the same bed she was folding on.

"You were right," she muttered begrudgingly. "I don't like that woman," she huffed.

Patty didn't reply, but simply smirked because she knew exactly what Catherine was talking about.

* * *

"I like the new look, Goldie." Howard remarked as Cathy slowly started to stretch his arm out.

She looked up in mild surprise. Patty was bored that morning after all of the chores were done. She insisted on doing Cathy over.

" _Liven up your looks," Patty said excitedly grabbing out her hair rollers._

"Thank you," Cathy smiled. It was nice to receive compliments on something other than her work ethic and not from a touch deprived soldier.

She gently let go of Howard's arm and gathered up the discarded bandages. "You are as good as new," she discarded the waste in his small trash can.

"Thanks, doll." Howard smirked at her as he slipped on his shirt. "I guess this is it, huh? No more afternoon visits." Catherine laughed lightly at him. "Let me, thank you. How about dinner?"

She shook her head and laughed. "Are you always this charming?"

"Only for you, doll." he replied with a wink. This caused her to giggle.

"Hope were aren't interrupting," Agent Carter's voice stopped the pair's banter. "There is only a war going on." Her tone was light, but her words weren't.

"We were just finishing," Cathy said turning to face the woman. Her smile slightly dropped as she noticed the group of men standing behind her.

Gabe offered a friendly nod, but her eyes floated to Falsworth who looked like he was too in his head to notice her.

"Um-" she said less confidently. "I'll leave you all to it," she gathered her medical supplies and hurried past the group and out of the room.

She rubbed her cheek with one hand and looked at her shoes. 'Oh,' she chastised herself. It was stupid to get this flustered. She wasn't paying attention to where she was walking and moments later ran into a rock a.k.a Captain America.

She stumbled back and looked up to see Steve standing in front of her. Her cheeks felt as if they were on fire. She was taken aback at how strong he was. Cause sure, he looked buff, but she hadn't realized he was so- buff.

"Sorry," they both said at the same moment.

"No, I'm sorry," Steve quickly followed. "Should've watched where I was stepping." She took note of the Brooklyn accent she hadn't noticed the last and only other time they had spoke to each other.

"Really," she replied. "If I wasn't so fixated on my shoes."

Steve quickly answered, "Really, it was my fault."

The both paused, stood there awkwardly for a moment and then simultaneously let out an uncomfortable laugh.

"Well, bye." she said quickly slipping past him and hurrying out of the building.

"What happened to you?" Mary asked as Catherine entered the hospital. She offered grumble which would have to suffice.

As her shift came to a close, Catherine eyed the entrance anxiously. Gabe hadn't come in for his check up yet.

She told herself that everything was fine and maybe he would drop by the next day, but between flirting, Howard did mention that the team was preparing to go on another mission.

So, later that evening, she found herself making her way down a path she promised she would never walk again. Her hat was in her hands and she was wringing it tightly. She wasn't sure where she was going, who to ask for help, just that she was walking in the direction of the soldier's barracks. She slowly nodded at a group of men playing cards. Several items were thrown in a pile at the center of the group. They all paused to look up at her and a feeling of familiarity washed over Cathy.

'What would Agent Carter do?' was what Catherine repeated over and over in her head. Carter could ground a man with a smile and flick of her wrist. Catherine sometimes tripped over her own feet.

At the very end of the barracks was a man sitting on top of crate, with a cigar jutting out of his bottom lip. She wondered, firstly where he got the cigar because the cigarettes distributed were cheap and not cigars. Most of all, she was just relieved. There were tents set up behind him in a huddle.

"Um-" she said as she neared him. He looked up at her. "Mr. Dugan?"

He grimaced and let out a mix between a scoff and and a laugh. "Dum Dum," he corrected her.

"Well that's not very nice," she replied her hands still wringing her hat.

He paused and looked just past and then back at the petite, nervous young woman in front of him. Slowly, Dugan took the cigar out of his mouth. "Did you walk down here, all by yourself?"

She gave a small nod and inched closer to him as a group of soldiers strolled past and one of them offered a low whistle. The man was silence with one glare from Dugan.

"Gabe didn't show up for his checkup," she explained. "I was worried."

"So," he paused and raised one eyebrow. "You walked here, by yourself." It was no longer a question.

"Well," she said. "I suppose so."

He squinted his eyes and wrinkled his forehead and then slightly bent over, a loud booming laugh followed.

"Stark said you were bold, but-" he paused to try to catch his breath. "I'll go get him. Tell him you're here to drag him by his ear."

Before Catherine could say anything, Dugan was up and stumbling into one of the tents. A few moments later she heard chuckles. Not only Gabe, but Bucky too emerged with Dugan coming after.

"Ha," Gabe said when he saw the women. Bucky grumbled, reached into his pocket and pulled out a beat up package of chewing gum. He slapped it into Gabe's hand.

"He didn't think Dugan was telling the truth," Gabe said. "But, I know that only Nurse Goldie would be gutsy enough to travel down here."

She smiled sheepishly unsure on how to respond. A lot of things were currently surprising her. For one, Stark talked about her. For two, Gabe really thought she had guts.

"You were supposed to come in today," she said hesitantly.

Gabe sighed, "I must of forgot. With everything going on-" Bucky cleared his throat, but kept his eyes trained on Catherine. She had never spoken to him before other than a few passing nods.

She didn't press.

"Just, be sure to stop in tomorrow. I should probably get going now," she said realizing that she was invading their personal space. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright," she awkwardly turned.

"Wait," Bucky said. She paused and looked over her shoulder. "No respectable lady should be walking these grounds all by herself," he said.

"I'll be fine," Catherine just really wanted to get out of there.

"I'm sure you will, doll." he offered a slight smirk. "But, I'm afraid my manners can't help but intervene." Gabe scoffed which caused Bucky to throw a dirty look. "I need to check the post anyways."

Catherine didn't argue with him. They fell into step and admittedly, she found herself walking closely to him as they passed through the barracks.

"Can I ask you a honest question?" Bucky slipped his hands into his pockets and tilted his head to get a good look at her.

"Sure," she said hesitantly.

"Why do they call you: Goldie?" He said creasing his eyebrows together.

She started let out a giggle. Not because it was funny. No, it was because she felt as though that stupid nickname would follow her to the grave.

"What's so funny?" Falsworth was approaching the two. He didn't look to happy. She made note of the strange, unreadable look on his face. She was at a loss for words.

"You're just in time," Bucky said smiling a secretive smile. "Nurse Goldie was just about to answer the age old question."

"And what would that be?" he asked looked over at Catherine.

"Thank you for walking me," Cathy interrupted. "But, I should get going." She offered a slight smile at the two men before hurrying away. As she left the two in her dust, she swore that she heard laughter.

Glancing back, she saw Bucky shaking his head with the same secretive smile on his face. Falsworth swatted the man before pushing past him and continuing on towards the barracks.

 _I wonder,_ Catherine thought to herself as faced forward and walked toward the nurses barracks.


	8. Chapter 8

**Truly Happy**

 **Chapter 8**

* * *

Cathy was immersed in her work, not allowing herself to stop for a second and think about men and relationships. Mary, however was quite the opposite. She loved to talk about Falsworth or 'James'.

"Ow!" Howard said as Cathy accidentally pulled a little too hard on his bandage. Stark was always hurting himself. It hadn't been two days and here she was again. She was pretty sure she saw him more than any of the commandos.

"Sorry," she quickly said coming down from her head. "You never told me how you did this," she remarked.

"I heard some of the nurses are on leave tonight," Howard said adjusting himself in his chair to see her. She nodded thoughtlessly at him. "Would you like to go dancing?" she nodded again not thinking. Her mind was still on how Mary talked about Falsworth. How she called him _James._ She had never heard anyone once call the man _James._

"Goldie, are you listening."

"Huh," Cathy said looking down at Howard.

"I'll meet you outside at seven," he repeated.

"For what?" she asked creasing her eyebrows together.

Howard sighed to himself and muttered something under his breath about 'woman and geese being cooked'. "What's going on with you?" he finally addressed her. Before she could answer he continued. "You've been in a haze and you just agreed to go out with me,"

"I didn't-"

"No take backs," Howard cut her off. "You know," he continued. "If you ever need anyone to talk to, you can talk to me. Like tonight, on our date." he finished with a wink.

Catherine smiled appreciatively at him. "Actually, going out would be a lot of fun." That caused the man to smile at her.

When she got back to the hospital and told Patty, she didn't receive the reaction she was expecting. Patty was actually excited for her and in fact, even offered to help her get ready.

She sighed, "I admit Mr. Stark isn't the greatest man. But, he is alright and you need to have fun. I'm tired of you moping."

"I'm not moping," Cathy said defensively.

"It's okay," Patty came up beside Cathy and slung an arm over her shoulder. "If someone like Mary came around and ogled over my guy? I would be upset too."

"He isn't my guy and-"

"Catherine."

Cathy froze and she, and Patty looked over their shoulders. Falsworth was standing behind them looking at the two with an unreadable look on his face. They shared a look before turning around and facing him.

"I guess the boys wouldn't take no for answer," he chuckled nervously slipping his hands into his pockets. "They threatened to steal my biscuits if I didn't come down here and ask you again."

Both women looked confused. "Cookies," he explained. "They're- never mind," he sighed.

"Actually, it turns out I'm free, but-"

"She has a date," Patty interjected. "With Mr. Stark."

"Howard?" he asked keeping his eyes trained on Cathy. He cleared his throat. "Well, alright." He lingered for a moment like he was looking for something to say, but honestly he just looked uncomfortable. That was something Catherine wasn't used to seeing. "Have a good evening."

"You too," she said softly offering a slight smile. She felt a pang of guilt because they had invited her out first. When he left, Patty turned to Catherine and let out a small squeal.

"He's jealous," she said smirking slyly at Catherine.

The brunette scoffed at her friend. She hardly believed that. "I'm serious, didn't you see how his face dropped as soon as I said, 'date'. Forget Mary, he's dumb for you."

* * *

She smoothed out her off duty uniform and looked in the small mirror leaning against her cot. "I think you should wear this shade," Patty bounded in, she went off to ask some other nurse for lipstick. "Oh, no." she said stopping abruptly.

Catherine looked over at her. "What's wrong?"

"Everything," Patty whined out. "You can't wear that!"

"What do you mean?"

Patty was already on her knees and digging through the small chest in front of Cathy's cot. She pulled out a light pink dress and scoffed. "This will have to do."

Cathy would admit, most of her normal clothes were boring, but she came from a poor family and one that wasn't so religious, but took pride on their morals. Cathy took the dress from Patty and quickly changed.

"Tsk, tsk," Patty mumbled as she had Cathy do a spin. "I'm going to go find some needle and thread, and then we are going to fix this."

Catherine huffed and plopped down on her bed. The more the time neared, the more she got nervous. Patty wasn't helping either. Catherine knew she was a boring person.

 _Maybe, this wasn't such a good idea._

She huffed and waited for Patty to return.

* * *

"You look-" Howard paused. Catherine blushed as she stopped in front of him. "You look amazing," he finally said offering his arm and a grin. "Shall we?"

Catherine nodded and looped her arm around his. The bar wasn't the nicest place, but nicer than most things there at town. The dance floor was big and filled with people. It looked fun, but the bar was much safer.

Howard pulled out a stool for her and gently held her hand as she took a seat. "You clean up nicely, Goldie." he remarked waving down the bartender.

"You look nice too," she mumbled out as she glanced around the room. The commandos were sitting at a table in the corner, away from all of the action. They were laughing and clinking their glasses together.

"Smile, you look miserable." Howard said as he slid into the seat next to her. Catherine forcefully cracked a small smile and Howard sighed.

"You look insane," he ran a hand down his face. "Come on Goldie, this is supposed to be fun."

"And- I'm having a great time," she replied, but her eyes were focused on the commandos, who were sitting on the other side of the dance floor.

Howard whistled and then followed with, "I'm over here."

She quickly snapped her attention back to him. "How was your day?" she asked taking a sip of her club soda. Howard offered to buy her a drink, but she had duty tomorrow morning. He moaned loudly in return.

"Let's skip the small talk, Goldie. It bores me."

* * *

He was having a horrible time. Monty tried his best to smile each time one of his comrades jutted him. But, he was having a horrible time. Mary had disappeared to god knows were, which he wasn't all to upset about. No, what upset him was the situation unfolding by the bar. In other words, he wanted to punch Howard so very badly.

"Another round," Dugan jeered loudly which caused the rest of the men to cheer in delight. They were all drunk off their faces. Falsworth grumbled to himself as Catherine examined the room and for a split second, their eyes locked. She blushed and then looked away, his heart skipped a beat.

"I need some air," he said standing up abruptly. His team barely acknowledged it.

Monty was at a loss. He was angry and frustrated, but at what. "Tired of dancing?" he looked up to see Peggy approaching him. The Captain wasn't with them. He insisted on staying back and working on their 'attack plans'. So, he was surprised she was there.

"I just needed some air."

The way she smiled, like she knew something he didn't. "I've come to fetch Howard. Some new developments have come up. We need to move up plans."

"What-"

"I'll catch you all up tomorrow," she interrupted. "Besides," she peaked through the propped open door. "Everyone else is too drunk to function."

They were now singing some old sailor song and it was loud enough to be heard over the slow tune playing. "You know," she continued. "I believe I am taking away Nurse Goldie's date."

He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"I don't know what you mean," he answered taking a puff of his cigarette.

"I'm sure you don't," she replied winking at him and then pushing past.

He huffed to himself in annoyance because he had been getting the same kind of crap from the boys. Ever since, he ran into her and Bucky walking.

 _"Are you blushing, Monty?" Bucky asked his tone dripping with amusement. Catherine had brushed past him._

 _"Why was she coming from the barracks?" he asked ignoring Barnes' question._

 _"I asked you first," Bucky shot back._

 _"I'm flushed," he replied as somberly. "It's cold out."_

 _Bucky laughed loudly and he grumbled in response. "Don't look now," he said through his laughs. "But, she's looking back at you."_

 _Falsworth swatted Bucky upside his head and pushed passed him, shoulder checking him in the process._

 _"Oh, come on." Bucky called after him laughing. "Wait, till the boys hear about this." he added as an after thought._

He stepped into the doorway and watched Peggy approach the couple. Howard said something to Catherine and she nodded in return. She smiled warmly at Peggy and then shook her head.

Howard stood and gave her a peck on the cheek. Monty's throat tightened. Catherine turned back to the bar and waved down the bartender.

"Hey, Monty." Howard said as he and Peggy approached him. "Do me a favor, make sure Goldie makes it back to camp in one piece."

He nodded and Peggy smirked as the two slipped past him.

He stepped back outside and finished smoking. When he entered the bar again she was still in the same spot.

"Is this seat taken?" He asked smoothly causing her to slightly jump. A faint blush ran over her nose and cheeks.

"N-no," she answered and he sat down. He ordered a drink on the rocks and stole a glance over at her. She was looking down at the glass in front of her. He never noticed the faint freckles that littered her face.

"How was your date?"

"Short," she replied humorously. "But, it was fun."

She looked up at him through her thick lashes and he gulped.

"Um-" he paused. "I- I didn't know Howard was your type." He meant to sound teasing, but instead it came out almost- jealous? He mentally slapped himself. _You're an idiot_.

"He isn't," she smiled warmly at him. "I'm not exactly sure how I ended up on a date with him."

"Well, yes. He can have that affect on women," he retorted.

"Thanks," she laughed as he took a sip of his drink.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that you were-" he paused. "You look lovely," he decided to go a different route rather than dig himself into a hole. "As always."

"Hardly," she replied. "Only when Patty gets her hands on me."

He assumed she was talking about the blonde she usually hung around with. Most of the men at base ogled over her. He was always hearing about how she swung her hips, smiled, winked. He didn't have anything against Patty. But, she wasn't- she wasn't Catherine and neither was Mary.

At the sudden realization, he downed the rest of his drink. He turned to the crowd and found Mary dancing with Bucky and the rest of his team doubled over with drunken fits of laughter.

"That's not true," he replied after a few moments of silence. He and Catherine locked eyes and he melted in her chocolate pools of- why did she look so confused?

"Thank you," she said with astonishment in her voice.

Good lord, she didn't know how beautiful she was? The pair had only talked a few times, but he often saw her around camp. Sometimes, even avoided her because she honestly scared him. She was so bright, so kind and innocent.

She was the opposite of him.

He cleared his throat and stood. "Would you like to dance?" he asked offering a hand. Monty wasn't a great dancer. She smiled and took his hand.

"Sure."

As they stepped onto the dance floor a slow song came on. She looked down and tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear. His legs felt weak.

"I have to warn you," he said as she took her hand in is. "I'm not very good at this."

"Neither am I," she replied as she put her other hand on his shoulder and he rested his just above her waist.

They smiled at each other. For once in a very long time, he was truly happy.


	9. Chapter 9

**Questions**

 **Chapter 9**

* * *

Certain things came easy to different people. Catherine was great at helping people. She had the compassion of a saint and the determination to match. Not to mention her medical skills were polished. Falsworth was a great soldier and an even better strategist. He was well rounded coming from a family of lords and ladies. Unfortunately, there were no strategies to make in the situation and his knowledge on the difference between the soup spoon and the dessert fork wasn't going to help either.

The man who was usually calm and collected, who always had the right thing to say, was at a loss for words. His mind was in messy scrambles, and he was sure that if he tried to talk, there wouldn't be legible sentences coming out of his mouth.

He was willing to take that chance.

Catherine was thankful for the comfortable silence they were in. She had no idea that beside her Falsworth was cursing the quiet like it was Hydra itself.

Miraculously, the rest of the team was back at the barracks and as peaceful as the drunken group could be. Steve wasn't too happy to emerge from his tent and find the crew shouting some old drinking song too slurred to understand.

"I'll walk you back," Falsworth said as Catherine handed off Denier to Steve. She simply nodded and they began on their way.

Now, here they were.

"We will most likely be sent off tomorrow," he finally said breaking the silence.

Catherine was staring at the ground. Her eyes were set deep in thought, but when she looked up at him they visibly softened. It made him want to melt.

"Oh," fell from her lips in disappointment.

She began to pick at her fingers a habit he realized she did when nervous. Did he really make her nervous?

"Just- in case….you don't see me around for a while."

 _Pull yourself together man,_ he mentally smacked himself.

Catherine blushed and slightly smiled as she wrapped her arms around her body to keep the fleeting warmth in when the wind picked up.

Monty slipped off his jacked and wrapped it around her shoulders. There was so much he wanted to say and it was all stuck in his throat.

"Thank you," she said pulled the jacket closer. "When do you think you will be back?"

"I don't know," he answered with a sigh. "It could be days, weeks, even longer than that-"

She nodded.

"What I'm trying to say is-" he said abruptly. "What I'm trying to say is-" he repeated a little bit softer. She waited for him to continue, but he didn't. He just sighed heavily.

Catherine looked at him expectantly. They stopped at the edge of the barracks because soldiers weren't allowed past that point. "Well," she smiled weakly. "This is me," she hovered for a minute hoping that he would finish his thought.

"Goodnight Catherine," he said with a slight grimace.

"Goodnight Falsworth," she mumbled quietly. She handed him back his jacket and with a quick decision, and small hesitation bobbed up and kissed him on the cheek.

"M-monty," he called after her as she turned and began to walk away.

"I'm sorry?" she turned to face him,

"Call me Monty or James. Whichever, it doesn't matter."

"Okay," Catherine said. "Goodnight Monty."

Monty was kicking himself as he walked back to his side of the camp. He slipped his jacket back on and caught a faint whiff of Catherine's perfume. It smelled like vanilla and almonds. He scoffed to himself. There was the perfect chance and he blew it. His cheek still tingled were she pecked him. He could still feel her soft lips brushing against his skin.

Bloody hell.

He really was an idiot.

* * *

When Catherine entered the hospital the next morning she was in a giddy haze. She smiled warmly at the woman sitting behind the front desk, straightening out paper work and even greeted Mary with a bright 'hello'. The woman rolled her eyes at Cathy and went back to gossiping with some of the other nurses.

"You're in a good mood today," Patty greeted her as Cathy slipped by and began checking on patients.

The brunette smiled at her friend, but didn't elaborate further. She wasn't trying to overthink the night before, but it was really hard not to. It was all confusing. What had he tried telling her? She was a bit frustrated with the man because he had no idea what kind of spell she was a under. She thought back to when she kissed him on the cheek. How his stubble felt beneath her lips. His jacket smelled like smoke and whatever cheap cologne he had somehow gotten his hands on. Butterflies began to well in her stomach, but she shooed them away.

It was time to work, not fantasize.

"How are you feeling today?" She asked a soldier as she brought his food over.

"Better," he answered as he tried to sit up on his own. She moved to help him. "No, let me." He protested.

She watched him struggle a bit more and then the man sighed and fell back. His hand was missing. It had been blown off by a grenade. Catherine remembered the first day he came in, incomprehensible due to the loss of blood, tiredness, and overall shock. It was a miracle they hadn't needed to cut more off to save the arm.

"You're getting better," she offered as she helped him sit up. She placed the tray on his lap.

"Where do they get this crap?" He muttered in disgust.

The food lately hadn't been very tasty or nutritious. It consisted of a lot of canned food and stale bread. Catherine herself had resigned to only eating here and there throughout the day. Otherwise, she found herself getting sick.

"I heard there should be delivery coming soon. Maybe it will have more variety." she tried to sound hopeful, but she couldn't even convince herself of that possibility.

"I doubt it," the man scoffed before digging in.

Catherine went on to check the rest of her patients before focusing on housekeeping stuff such as sweeping and mopping.

"Nurse Goldie."

"Catherine," she corrected looking up from the floor.

A man in a SSR uniform was standing there with a grimace on his face. It was a look that Catherine was used to because usually when someone from SSR visited her it wasn't to chat, but rather to deliver her an injured Howard.

"What did he do this time?" Catherine sighed. It had been less than twenty-four hours since she saw him.

"It isn't Howard this time."

* * *

Colonel Phillips was a grumpy man or at least he seemed like one. Catherine never personally met him, until now. The way the agent explained it, one of Stark's weapons malfunctioned and unfortunately the Colonel was in direct line of fire.

She examined the man's arm anxiously. It wasn't a very bad wound, but the gash was deep. When she first started nursing, the mere sight of flesh sent her running for the nearest thing to vomit in. Now, she was no longer sensitive to the gore of it all. Sometimes, however the smell did get to her.

"You're going to need stitches," she said looking up at the older man.

"I'm going to that rip mustache right off of that curled upper lip," Phillips muttered angrily.

Her eyes grew slightly wide at his threat. Even if it wasn't towards her. She ducked her head once more and went back to treating his wound.

Sometimes, Catherine worried what life would be like once the war ended, if it ever would. She was afraid that there would be no real use for her. With so many nurses, she figured the jobs in hospitals would be hard to come by and she really didn't have much else to offer. Before signing up for the war effort, she worked at a waitress in a local diner. But, the job didn't pay very well and it wasn't something she wanted to do her entire life.

She felt at home when it came to helping people. She liked being able to heal others.

"You will need to go easy on this arm for a while," she said standing up and straightening out the skirt of her uniform dress. He grunted out a thank you.

When Colonel left, Catherine cleaned up the waste and tidied up the bed he sat on. Her mind wandered back to Falsworth and where exactly he was at the moment, if he was okay. She plopped down on the bed with a deep sigh. She really was hopeless.

"Pull yourself together, Catherine." she mumbled to herself. "He's just a man."

It was true, but it didn't help.

* * *

It had been a month. A whole month and it was driving Catherine crazy. She was folding sheets when she noticed a group of people gathering just outside the window. Out of curiosity, she set the linens down and went to investigate.

She pushed herself to the front of the group and found Patty.

"What's going on?" she asked the blonde who looked very excited.

"They're back!" Patty exclaimed grabbing hold of Catherine's arm. "And that means- now you can stop pouting everyday."

"I don't pout," Catherine argued taking back her arm. "Maybe frown, but not pouting."

Patty rolled her eyes at her friend. "Whatever you say," she paused and then swatted at Catherine as her eyes went wide. "There they are!"

Catherine followed her line of sight to see the clunky truck that looked like it's top had been ripped off. Dernier sat on the hood with a tiresome look on his face. Bucky was in the driver's seat, Steve sitting beside him with his head propped up on his hand and his elbow resting where a window should be. In the back seat was Gabe, Monty and Morita. Dugan was sitting in the back with his legs hanging off of the trunk. They all looked exhausted.

She felt uneasy as the truck stopped just at the edge of the camp and people hurried to swarm around the crew. She stood in place as nurses and other soldiers brushed past her anxious to hear about the team's latest mission.

"Come on," Patty said tugging on the young women's arm.

"No," Catherine said lightly as she watched them jump out sluggishly. "That's okay. You go ahead, I'm going to go check on some of my patients."

Patty cocked an eyebrow. "You don't want to see him?"

"Not like this," she said. The anxiety was creeping up on her as she watched his tired eyes scan the crowd. When they landed on her she immediately looked away. "They look tired. I don't want to bother him," she pulled away from her friend and hurried back to the hospital.

It was so stupid. The past few weeks, she was left wondering and now that he was back, it just didn't feel right. She didn't know why, but it just didn't.

What if he didn't feel the same way?

Catherine buried that thought just like she buried herself in her work.

It was sometime around noon when the Brit strolled into the hospital with an anxious look on his face. Catherine was too immersed in filling out paper work to notice him come up behind her.

"Catherine."

She slightly jumped at his voice. Catherine spun on her foot to face him. She tried to cover up her eagerness, but it didn't work.

"Fals- I mean Monty," she quickly corrected herself. He gave her a smile.

She made note of the way his hair was ruffled and his jacket was messily thrown on. He breathed deeply before looking down at the ground. Catherine swore she could see Dernier and Bucky loitering just outside of the hospital door. She brushed it off and whipped her eyes back over to Falsworth, who was now rubbing the back of his neck.

"I don't think I was-" he paused and huffed. Monty snuck a look back up at her and smiled uneasily. "Would you like to go dancing." She smiled brightly at him and she swore her heart skipped a beat. "I mean we don't have to go dancing. There are always other things-" he paused and his eyes went wide. "Not like that, of course-" he looked up. "I would never- I mean you are very attractive but- Respect." Catherine slightly jumped back as he slightly raised his voice. "Respect is very important to me and-"

Bucky stumbled in and hurried over to his friend. "I think she gets it," he said patting the brit on the back.

"Dear god," Monty sighed looking down and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I would love to," she said with a slight giggle. Her face was hot and her stomach was doing flips. She didn't know what to do with herself when he looked back up in surprise.

She could just melt.

Both he and Bucky were silent for a minute and then Bucky let out a 'he-ay' very loudly. He clapped his hand on Monty's shoulder.

"She said yes," Bucky threw over his shoulder and a chorus of yelps came from outside.

It sounded like more than Dernier out there.

"I'm sorry," Monty said with a sigh.

* * *

Steve was looking for his team. They weren't where they were supposed to be. Which was the edge of camp unloading the truck. No, instead their packs laid in the dirt, in front of the crookedly parked truck, which was inches away from hitting a tree.

He made his way through camp a little irritated and then he found them standing outside the hospital jeering and high fiving like a bunch of idiots.

He really was trying to be upset.

"What's going on?' he asked approaching the group.

"She said, 'yes.' Dernier said through this thick accent and motioned into the hospital. He peaked in to find Falsworth standing there with his face beet red. Buck stood next to him, with a dumb grin on his face and then he saw Cathy. Who was standing there shyly and looked unsure on what to do.

He smiled fondly.

Well, damn.

He thought to himself.

She said, yes.

Thank goodness too. Falsworth had spent the entire mission brooding to himself.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and followed! I hope you all enjoy enjoy this chapter. ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Here We Go Again**

 **Chapter 10**

* * *

 **2 1/2 years ago**

Catherine spent most of her time with her head in the clouds as she bussed tables and took orders. Her avid dreaming would be her demise and her mother made sure she knew of it.

Sure, not much had happened for her since high school, but there were a lot of reasons for that. Catherine blamed it on not having enough money to pursue an higher education. Sending her to university was something her family just couldn't afford. Of course, there were good enough jobs out there that didn't require a degree. But, she also couldn't fathom the idea of being stuck behind a desk all day, everyday of the week. Her constant need to move was something that had actually caused her to struggle during her high school days.

The plain and simple truth was, she just didn't know what to do with her life.

Maybe, that was why Catherine felt a call to adventure as she stared up at the Army Nurse Corps poster in the small mom and pop diner she worked at. Her serving tray was propped up on her hip with an array of dirty napkins and dishes.

Catherine gazed at the poster with mixed feelings. It had been hanging there for about a week now and the woman dressed in uniform, with a perfect lipstick smile had been taunting her. It was fairly easy to sway Catherine into doing something, it was something her boss took advantage of almost daily.

Knowing that about herself, she really did try to ignore the nagging at the back of her mind to at least go see what it was all about. But, after her mother's consistent nagging that morning and all the chatter about war she heard every shift, something snapped.

She looked the perfectly manicured woman in the eyes and let out a breath she had unknowingly been keeping in.

"You have to do this," she muttered to herself as she turned on her foot and hurried towards back to house. On they way, she placed the tray on a random table and untied her apron. Pushing through the back doors she tossed the darn thing on the ground and said, "I'll be back."

"Where do you think you're going?" the cook said looking up from the stove with a spatula in his hand.

Catherine didn't off an answer, but slipped on her jacket. Her determination wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. She at least could find out more information. There was no doubt in her mind, however, that if she signed her mother would surely kill her.

"If you leave, don't think you can just come back."

"Fine by me," she said without any real thought. She pushed through the back door into the ally and the cold air. "You can do this," she muttered to herself and without hesitation made her way down to the recruitment office.

* * *

"I thought um- Morita was a field medic. I'm sure he can explain this, even better, than I can."

"He doesn't have the same, touch, as you do." Howard interjected shooting her a prized smile. "Go on."

"Well," she began ringing her hands nervously. "um-"

When Howard came into the hospital earlier that morning, asking Cathy for a favor, she hadn't expected this. Yet, here she was and it wasn't fun. Being inside of Howard's workshop for non-work related reasons? Under the scrutiny of not only the colonel, but Howling Commandos AND 'Captain America'? It made for an uneasy feeling. Last time, she was in this type of situation, it lead to less than ideal consequences.

She sighed.

"Well," she said. She scanned the group of men and purposely avoided Monty's gaze. Acknowledging him would only make her more nervous. "This- device is used to help the average field medic dress a wound more swiftly and accurately."

She picked up the device.

"You, uh, press the button on top. As you would a pen and-" gauze flew out the other end when she did so and limply floated to the ground. Catherine pressed her lips together as she stared down at it in a mixture of disappointment and confusion.

"Thank you, Goldie." Howard quickly said clapping a hand on the back of her shoulder and reaching for the pen. In the middle of the device trading hands, the button flew off and was followed with a spring that both barely missed Catherine's face. She jumped back in astonishment.

"Goodness," she let fall from her lips.

"Okay," Howard said uneasily shoving the remnants in his pocket. "So, it needs work."

Catherine slipped out of the room with not much of a word. It seemed like everyday there was some antic that Howard was trying to rope her into. Just the day before, he had come around near the end of her shift and asked if she would try a new liquor. So, he could know how it affected the female body.

The doors leading out of the SSR building were in sight. Relief washed over her as she relished in the thought of putting some distance between her and the government building. Just as she could practically feel the air an all too familiar voice rang out.

"Catherine?"

Monty had made it a point to keep her company as much as he could in the last week. There hadn't been an official date of any sorts, but she was okay with their walks around the camp and the occasional lunch. As much time as they had spent together, he still made her very nervous. Especially, when she stared into those blue eyes of his. Just like she was doing right now.

"Sorry, I just really have to get back," she explained breaking eye contact and looking down. "I'm not even sure anyone knows I left."

"I should hurry back, as well." he said nodding. "But, um- I wanted to talk to you about something."

Those words struck insecurity and anxiousness into Catherine's heart. "Okay," was all she could say as she looked up and searched his face for some sort of hint of what may be coming her way. Sadly, he didn't offer any.

"I'll stop by the hospital later?"

She simply nodded.

"Okay," he nodded as well and offered a small smile. His sober look slipped away and was replaced with- nervousness? Monty faltered for a moment before placing a hand on her shoulder. She swore he was leaning in and her heart quickened, but instead he gave her weak squeeze. He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it again. "Until then," he said awkwardly before hesitating again, but ultimately turning and hurrying away.

She was utterly confused and briefly glanced over at the receptionist, who turned back to her work as soon as they met eyes. What just happened?

Catherine feeling more confused than she had when the conversation started, sighed and quickly exited the building.

* * *

"Ow," Catherine remarked quickly dropping the sheet in her hand. She mentally cursed herself and huffed. There were just so many things on her mind and the list kept growing.

She hadn't received a letter from home in some time now and if that didn't worry her, it was the lack of sleep she was currently getting. She would just lay awake at night thinking about war and war, and if the end would ever come. That was a popular topic among the nurses at the moment.

Catherine, honestly, didn't know if she really had a home to go back to. Sure, her family wrote her, but the way she parted ways with her mother was less than ideal and sudden. She hated the idea of fighting in any shape or form. She hated the military because of what it had did to her husband and to her, Catherine being a nurse wasn't any different than being a soldier.

Then, there was Falsworth. She had not even an inkling of what he wanted to talk about. She thought they were getting on just fine. Sure, sometimes the conversation lulled, but the silence was comfortable. She had no qualms about him, so far and she thought he would say the same with her. Catherine could admit she did get shy at times, but it was something she couldn't help.

She glanced over at Mary, who was scrubbing the floor. She probably was never shy around Falsworth. Her intentions with the man were pretty clear. Of course, she didn't seem to be bothered at his lack of attention or at least it didn't show.

Catherine felt a pang of jealousy, but then shook her head at that. Monty wasn't that type of person. At least, she believed he wasn't.

"Penny for you thoughts?" Patty asked from beside her, interrupting the inner monologue.

"Oh nothing," Catherine said as she got back to mending the torn sheet. She thought of Patty as a dear friend. However, she feared the Patty would just confirm the worries. That wasn't what the young woman needed because she also knew, Patty was nothing but bluntly honest.

Right now, she needed hope.

Her mind wouldn't stop and after pricking herself once more, Catherine decided to see if she could help somewhere else. Patty gave the brunette a look as she tossed the sheet down and announced she needed a break, but thankfully didn't press for more answers.

Towards the end of her shift, Monty finally walked in with a deep grimace on his face. Catherine's heart dropped because all that hope was starting to disappear.

"Hey," she said offering a warm smile despite her stomach turning on itself inside. "Let me just finish checking up on a few patients." He nodded silently, but didn't offer much else.

When Catherine was twelve, her father made her promise to never kiss a boy she didn't love. Now, that all seemed kind of silly, but growing up she adhered to the promise like her life depended on it. Especially, after he passed away. But, then Johnny rolled into town with a boyish smile and the right charm to match it.

He had a way with words and Catherine could be very easy to persuade.

Monty wasn't anything like him. He was polite, composed, to himself. Each time he took her hand in his, she wondered if the way her fingertips tingled as his brushed against them meant anything. She also wondered if the way her heart fluttered every time he smiled could reveal some underlying health problems she wasn't aware of. Because she had never felt this way before. Not with Johnny, not with the air force man, not with anyone.

She sat on the tree stump and watched him pace back and forth in frustration.

"What's wrong?" Catherine voiced. Monty opened his mouth to say something, but snapped it shut and shook his head.

The pacing continued.

It was making her nervous. She picked at her thumb and waited for the man to speak, grunt, look at her, do something. Anything that would clue her in to this madness. Finally, Monty crouched down in front of her. He gently grabbed her hand and her nervousness increased.

"C-Catherine," he began. He was making it a point to look her in the eyes, but she wouldn't have it. Catherine instead stared at the ground as she racked her mind with possibilities. What could possibly be happening right now?

"James," she answered back. His first name felt weird in her mouth. She didn't mind it, but it wasn't him. It wasn't her Monty.

"We need to talk."

That was all he needed to say to send her heart racing. She had heard enough stories about other women getting their hearts broken to know nothing good could come from needing to talk. Especially, coming from a soldier. She swallowed thickly and pulled her hand out of his grasp.

"Okay," she said standing up and shuffling out of his gaze. Monty stood as well and trailed behind Catherine who went to go lean against a tree. They hadn't even gone a proper date yet. What could have gone so possibly wrong? How could he just walk into her life and then stroll right back out. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.

She could feel the tears forming at the corner of her eyes, but she quickly dried them and turned back to him. He looked slightly startled at her spin of the foot, but didn't relent. He grabbed her hand once more and stopped waking towards her only when their faces were inches apart.

"I've been thinking."

"Okay," she nodded looking down at their shoes.

"And this isn't the proper way to do things."

There it was. Her heart busted into a million shattered pieces.

"And I'm sorry I haven't been able to take you out on a proper date by now."

She looked with creased eyebrows. "I'm sorry?" she said in disbelief.

"I said, I'm sorry that-"

"I don't mind," she said cutting him off. Was that really it. She sighed deeply and offered him a small smile. She really didn't mind. If anything, Catherine would've drowned herself in worry and anxiousness of a 'proper' date .

"Well," She felt butterflies from her nose to her toes and it honestly, wasn't half bad. "I'll be leaving soon- tomorrow actually."

"Oh," she let slip out. Catherine was disappointed, but that didn't mean he should know that. "Oh," she repeated as the weight of that set in.

Of course, the last time he left a good month passed. A month of worrying and waiting. A month full of unknowns and honestly, fear. Now, she felt like the stakes were higher.

"How long?" she asked trying to keep a light tone.

"I don't know," he said running his thumb over her knuckles. "It could be long."

"Oh," she said again. "Well-" she paused because the sadness that she felt threatened to show in tear form. She swallowed the lump in her throat and though of something to say. "Well."

"When I come back," Monty said slowly. He creased his eyebrows together and slipped his free hand into his pant pocket. "I am going to take you on a proper date."

Monty looked up for the first time, since the conversation turned and she regretfully couldn't meet his eyes.

Catherine nodded and offered a wavering smile. "We can go to the pictures," she suggested. "Or dancing."

"Out for dinner," he replied taking a step closer. "Anywhere you'd like."

"Okay," she nodded.

Of course, they dared not to speak the obvious. There was no guarantee that they would have a chance to do any of that.

"Okay." Monty hesitated for a moment before leaning in and placing a peck on her cheek. His mustache tickled a bit and his lips were slightly chapped, but she didn't mind. Who had time to worry about chapped lips? She didn't really know what to do and when he pulled away, she only hoped her face wasn't as red as she felt it was.

She couldn't sleep after their conversation. She laid in bed with just him occupying her thoughts. They hadn't had much time for anything grow. She didn't want to even consider him not coming back. The only thing Catherine had to hold onto was blind faith.

Everything was going to be okay.

She didn't know for sure, but she wasn't going to accept anything else. When the early rays of light finally came, Catherine slipped out of bed and began to get ready. There wasn't an actual plan set out, but she was set on seeing Monty before he left. She hurried out of the barracks and to the other side of camp, where the team was supposed to be.

Peggy was the first person to see Catherine. She was with Steve. The two were off to the side and a good way from the group.

"Nurse Goldie?"

Catherine was very unsure. What exactly had she planned on achieving or even doing?

She looked past Peggy and focused her attention on Falsworth who was helping Dugan load the truck.

"Um- sorry. I didn't want to intrude," she said offering a smile and brushing past the two. "Monty?" she called out as she neared the rest.

The men paused and looked at the nurse in mild shock. It wasn't hard to miss the evident smirk on Denier's face as he elbowed Bucky, who had his own sly grin.

"Cath-"

There really was no thought put into it. She made herself just go for it because otherwise it would be overthought and ultimately wouldn't happen.

She cut the soldier off by storming up, promptly grabbing his collar and pulling him down to her. He took no time to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her into the kiss.

It was nothing like Johnny's or the air force man's. It was better, way better.

"Um- be safe," she said after pulling away. Her face was on fire. "All of you," she added quickly.

Monty took a few to catch his breath and gather his wits. The look on his face made her squirm a bit. It was partly unrecognizable and partly shocked. She placed a kiss on his cheek before turning and hurrying off before she could think even more.

* * *

Falsworth really wished he could've slept more. His mind, however, had kept him up for most of the night. Before dawn could even break, Bucky was poking his head in each tent and making sure _everyone_ knew it was time to wake up.

"Falsworth couldn't keep still half the night," Morita grumbled as the crew got together their things. "I'm a light sleeper."

"That's bullshit," Gabe said with a chuckle. "You slept through us nearly getting ambushed that one time."

"Or when Dugan nearly shot his own hat off," Bucky said.

"How about-"

"It's situational," Morita said cutting them off. Everyone responded with a chuckle or smart comment. "Whatever," he said shaking his head.

Falsworth was filled with dread as they started to pack to truck. He was so tired of fighting, just like everyone else. There really was no hope and everything he used to think about to keep him going? It seemed like a distant memory or at most a different world. His normal used to be a manor. Now, it was a thin tent, dirt, blood and helplessness.

"Monty."

It almost sounded like an angel bringing him out of his head. "Looks like you've got a send off," Bucky remarked smartly.

Falsworth briefly threw the sniper a dirty look before turning to see Catherine. He could barely get her name out, before the woman charged at him, with a look of blatant determination in her eyes. He was almost scared when she grabbed his collar and pulled him down to her.

It all happened so quickly and as he watched her hurry away with a scarlet red face, something he hadn't felt in a long time surfaced. He ignored the howling and whistling the other men started as soon as she was out of sight and focused on loading the truck, quickly.

"What's the rush, Falsworth?" Dugan asked with a little too much amusement.

"Guess you should probably kiss Steve goodbye now, Agent Carter." Bucky said as a matter of factly before quickly climbing into the front seat of the truck to escape any scrutiny his comment brought.

"Let's get this over with," Monty said trying to contain his smile. "I have a date."

 **A/N: Wow! It has been a really long time! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I will definitely be updating sooner. Don't forget to leave a review!**


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